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Goof Gas Attack (Part 1)
Plot Summary The episode begins at the Double-Dome Institute For Advanced Thinking, widely known as one of America's "great storehouses of knowledge". One day, a scientist asks his colleague, Armbruster, about the isopyridine derivative of benzene, but Armbruster can't be bothered because he is busy making a cat's cradle with his piece of string. Concerned with Armbruster's behavior and the dull-witted grin on his face, the scientist informs another of his colleagues, Hotchkiss, that Armbruster has gone crazy. Hotchkiss agrees, but suddenly produces his own piece of string and, with a dumb grin on his face proclaims, "This is how you make a cat's cradle". Meanwhile at a nearby missile base, a scientist is giving a presentation about using a beryllium alloy in an inertial guidance cam for a rocket, but suddenly forgets how to make the 'B' in beryllium. Over time, panic grips the scientific community as more and more scientists become stupid. A top-level meeting is called in Washington D.C. where a Holmes-esque ace investigator is hired to solve the case. However, when he reports back, he reveals that he found he can use a magnifying glass to "give people a hot foot". He uses the sun's rays to burn the chairman's shoes before breaking into hysterical laughter and runs off, playing with a yo-yo . It becomes apparent to the committee that the smarter the individual, the dumber they become, so the chairman concludes that they need to find the most unintelligent individual in America to combat the problem. After a long search of every 'clod-pole' 'dim-bulb' and 'schnook' in the country, the decide on, who else but...Bullwinkle J. Moose. Days later, in Frostbite Falls, Rocky opens the mailbox to find the committee's letter, though Bullwinkle seems to be more excited about the stamp of Lincoln on on the envelope, particularly Lincoln's beard. After a while, Rocky finally gets through to Bullwinkle that they need to go to Washington immediately, but just at that moment, a mysterious figure lobs a live hand-grenade at Bullwinkle, clonking him in the head. The narrator then reveals that we'll find out who it is next time in, "The Brain-Drainers" or "Malice in Wonderland". = Goofs -The right and left members of the Double-Dome freshmen class switch beards from the first shot to the second. In the third shot, they have also swapped glasses. Memorable Quotes Narrator: Here on the tree-shaded banks of lake Dinkiwawa, lies one of America's great storehouses of knowledge, the Double-Dome Institute for Advanced Thinking. Eh, you sir, what is your scholastic background? Man: Oh, I have a B.A. from Columbia, an M.A. from Harvard and a PhD. from CalTech. Narrator: And I take it you're a professor here? Man: No, I'm the janitor. = Narrator: Well, are you gentlemen members of the faculty? Men (in unison): FACULTY?! WE'RE THE FRESHMEN CLASS!!! Men (chanting in unison): A square, B prime, X plus Y! Upsilon, omicron, eta, theta, pi! Contemplate, cerebrate, cogitate too! Double-Dome, Double-Dome, we love you! Felicitations! Felicitations! Felicitations! = Bullwinkle: You called? Rocky: Yeah, here's a letter for ya Bullwinkle. Bullwinkle: WOWEEE! Rocky: Why so happy? You don't even know what's in the letter yet. Bullwinkle: I know, but look at that stamp! A genuine picture of Lincoln, with A BEARD! Rocky: You must be crazy about Lincoln... Bullwinkle: No, I'm crazy about beards. What does the letter say? Rocky: It's from Washington- Bullwinkle: Washington! You suppose he heard I was a Lincoln fan? Rocky: Bullwinkle! Bullwinkle: I'd be a Washington fan too if he had a beard! Rocky: This says- Bullwinkle: -and Washington needs all the fans it can get this year!